I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
