I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
