awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
