After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
