People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
