well you can't waste a boner
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
