There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
