no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
