hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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