They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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