remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Vodka?
Forever.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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