I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
