Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
