She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
