I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
