the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
