I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
