barbara walters just said penis...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
