Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
