My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
