if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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