I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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