soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
