you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
