how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
