Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
