dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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