No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am naked and annoyed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
