real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
