I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
