he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
