haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
