therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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