come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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