what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
