Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
