So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
