They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
