the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
