Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How external is "for external use only"?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize