the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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