Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
