So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
