We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
