There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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