Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
