I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
