Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
