Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
