You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
