well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
